dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
