so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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