I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
