The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
