you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
