We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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