we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
