Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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