you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
