I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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