She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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