well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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