I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
