You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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