I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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