He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
