i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize