I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
