Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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