He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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