My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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