We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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