Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize