i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
