you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
