READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
