Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
