Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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