Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
