Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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