it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
