Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
