My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
