Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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