And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
