Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize