we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
