she looked like the bat from fern gully.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
