I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
