some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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