why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
