it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
