I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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