Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

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(410): View more from Maryland

it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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(214): View more from Texas

No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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(419): View more from Ohio

We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

(419): View more from Ohio

And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

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(314): View more from Missouri

Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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(360): View more from Washington

ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

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(212): View more from New York

Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago

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