So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
