your parents love me but you hate me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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