I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
