called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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