seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
