Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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