Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
