Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
