If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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