WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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