He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
