so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my shit smells like andre
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
