dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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