I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
