man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
